Hope vs Expectation

Obviously there is a difference between hoping for something and expecting it.

The hope that this will happen, that someone shows up, that that is real. Hope is what you have when something is possible yet, not actually certain. Hope has room for you to sigh and say, “Damn, that would have been great/nice/amazing”!

Expecting something is somewhat different. When you expect something it is not just possible, it is probable. When you expect this will happen, that someone will show up, that that is real, there is not a lot of room for it to not come to pass. The sigh is more a hiss followed by, “What the fuck”!

The thing is, sometimes a hope slips into being an expectation when, there is no good reason for it to. Nothing has changed that makes the possible probable. Nothing more than simply having hoped so long, that you no longer see how it could not possibly happen.

The moment this occurs is usually a mystery. Not a conscious decision to say, “Hey, I am going to stop hoping and start expecting X to happen”.  If you thought about it at all it would not happen without a good reason. But, somehow, suddenly, something that was being hoped for, does not come to pass and, you are stunned. Beside yourself with questions, confused and dismayed.You are reacting like you expected X and it did not happen.

Why? Why are you so surprised, hurt, angry, et al about this? Just because you have a desire, a hope for something, there is nothing in the rule book that says you have to get it.  In fact, if you are reckless enough to not keep your hopes in check, make them not more than hopes, the best you can expect is a swift kick in the teeth.

Expecting something is a dangerous proposition too. Even when you have some kind of a reason to expect it, that lack of room for it not to happen is pretty scary. Nothing can create emotional claustrophobia like an expectation.

The only think worse than accidentally letting your hope become an expectation that does not come around is, having an expectation, with good reason, not either.

A V