Time Flies – and not the bugs!

A wonderful friend, inspiration, mentor and all around good egg told me, “I stopped worrying about you drinking when you stopped talking about it.” Interesting I thought. Looking back, I have been more hung up and rung out and stressed out about “doing AA” “being in program” “working the steps” than I have been about not drinking.

I don’t drink. I stopped. I was a complete jack-ass when I did and that got old, even to me. It might be genetic, my parents, as I recall them, where kinda jack-ass types too.  Be mad or laugh, up to you.

So, I gave up on trying to program and just stuck to the part, don’t drink. Also, do the next indicated thing. Now, no one ever really explained that, made clear how you know what that is. I recall clearly when the next indicated thing was another Wild Turkey and MGD. So, now, with the this lesson passed on from one of the most amazing humans I have ever encountered, and am blessed to be able and call a friend, I do/did this:

“Make a list of all the things you can do to fuck up your plan and derail your direction. Read it, often”

So much easier than a 6 month, 2 year, 5 year plan. Just wake up, look at a list of only about 10 things and say, “Today, I will not do any of those things.” Like one day at a time only for everything, not just drinking. So far, pretty darn good. I am certain the Sertraline (sp) is helping.

I say that with two project cars, neither of which offer any reliability, and more than one paycheck behind on paying bills. Nice.

I need a real job, the fun ones are not doing so good. Massage school is great, being a massage therapist I would not know about as I cannot seem to find any work doing that. A few more times of late the male vs female thing comes to light. Oh well. (Ask me how you can help with my student loan – just by using your grocery store club card!)

I have lost my solitude, had to close up the massage room and rent out to help pay the over all rent of domicile. I still love my place but, just not the same anymore.

Big garage sale this weekend, everything I cannot eat – for sale. Everything. Just stuff and it can all be replaced if truly missed or actually needed.

Found and old friend yesterday, looking forward to catching up and apologizing for being a jack-ass all those years.

Oh yea, time flies. Eighteen months today. That would be one and one-half years. Nice.

Peace, Ant-knee