The Ugly Side of Beauty, Part II

Pets.  There are many reasons that people go out and bring an animal into their lives. Some better than others, some just kooky. “There are many things you can tell about a person by the pets they keep.” I had heard this many times and thought it was not only true but that I actually could ‘do it’ – tell, figure, glean.  Here I sit, baring my secret, I have no idea what the hell that means or how to do it.

This I know, the bigger the pet, animal, the more room the owner/keeper has.  The more money they have to spend on feed. The more tolerant they are to cleaning up bigger piles of pet poo. After that, I can’t tell a damn thing about anyone with animals except they / we all have the same problems on our own scales.

It just so happens I am an animal person. I like animals, even dangerous wild ones, 5 to 1 over most humans. Just to be clear on where I am coming from.

When choosing a pet, one must plan accordingly. Space, Cost, Time, Noise, Odor. There are no simple rules for picking a pet except this, make sure you have TOO MUCH room for it. After that, everything else can be worked around.

I, not being ready get into a long term commitment at the time, not willing to give up much space or time but, desiring to have companionship, along with, some responsibility to something besides myself, quite spontaneously, bought a rat. Winston. Dark, cute, not so cuddly. Great animal.

Now, the pet thing has snowballed and I currently live with two cockatiels, Spike and Zeus, along with two rats, Winston and Falstaff.

All of that above has led to this, what is about to come below.

Some animals are harder than others to keep clean and odor free.

There is a rumor that rats are dirty animals. They are not. In fact, there are kinda crazy clean for being rodents that tend to live in the worst possible places. They are smart, creative, adventurous and generally a good pet for someone with a short attention span and not looking for more than a few years of commitment.

In the great outdoors, rats get wet. They get rained on, they run from predators into small dark places that may be filled with water. They fall into things full of water looking for food. They also brush up against things while running about trying not to be seen yet trying to eat, a lot. They even roll around in the dirt while playing with each other, which they do quite a bit.

All of this activity helps to ‘clean’ the rats. It takes care of one problem the little mis-understood rodent has. They are incontinent. Some say they have no bladder. More like, just no bladder control. When it is time to void, out it comes. Where ever they are, when and where ever they sleep, run, jump, walk, everything, anytime. This is not too terrible in the real world for all the reasons I listed already. It is however amplified as a ‘thing’ when living in a cage.

The keeping the cage clean and such is just time and motivation. Wipe it down/out daily. Keep the clean wood shaving changed, blah blah blah. Just common sense.

Then there is the rats themselves. Hmmmm. No rain. No dirt. Everything they rub against has been made smooth and safe. Not much to wipe away their stuff. And, when it is, it is in the cage and it smells.

After one particularly long and detailed detailing of the cage, I notices that, hey, it smells like rat pee around here. Took about two minutes, the time it takes to think of it and then actually go get a rat out of the cage. Yup, you smell bad little guy.

Now what?

Obviously, rats baths were in order. “I shall beautify the boys”! Spa day!

Holy crap! I have had some slick, slippery, sudsy stuff slide around in my hands before. Come close to catastrophe combing gravity and lack of grip. Dropped the proverbial ball.

I have never, and this includes, dogs, cats, reptiles and exes, NEVER had something as hard to hang onto as a scared soapy rat. They are small. They are crazy fast. They are built to go forward into and through small space. They have very small, sharp, efficient claws. They are determined!

Of course, they are also clean and smell nicer, no matter how unhappy if not actually angry they are.

Just in case this comes up in your life, five gallon buckets, two, one to wash in , one to rinse in. Small little dish pan size thing, not so good. Worried about drowning? Don’t. They swim and just don’t fill that high. Trust me. You want the high sides. You really do.

Be prepared too, just because you are done washing and moved on to drying, they are not finished trying to escape and are still pretty unhappy with you. Only now, they have the towel to get those claws into. So even as they become less slippery, they become much better at getting away.

It is ugly business making rates beautiful. Fun as hell and highly recommended when you just can’t find a movie to rent. Plan accordingly. You will need to bath yourself when finished. Bring your camera. Do in a space you can loose control of them without loosing them. The outside back patio, not so good an idea.

Birds by the way, are great at cleaning themselves. Once in a while, just put on perch and spray with water. Easy.

Peace, Ant-Knee