Rainy pre-dawn funk

I can’t help but wonder right now if I have made a huge mistake in being back in school for massage. Three months of looking and not a single reply about work. Stuck with the loan so it is not like I wont eventually finish the program but to what end?  I can’t even seem to get my ‘friends’ to show up for free work, stuff required by instructor.

Certainly nothing happening near me. Do I have to move up north? Do I want to move? If I wanted to leave SC I would have gone to LA years ago.

I know lots of males doing the work so I cannot blame it on that. Yea, sure, more women by about 4X but there are male therapists out there. I just don’t know. Maybe I need to look into not having the other disbursements for loan made and just stop now. Find something else.  Hell, just keep bartending. Not like I am good at anything else. Not enough to be employed at it anyway.

I hate the “what was I thinking” thinking. Eating me alive.