You created it!

So, you are an open-minded person. You believe in free speech, social justice, equality and all such things. You are an activist. You are an example to your children too.

You have taught them through words and by example that they should not tolerate being stereo-typed, forced to conform to social norms. Never be pigeon hold or held back or down my ‘fitting in”. You have taught them to be confident. You have taught them to learn about the things that important to them.

You have told them and showed them that it is very very important to be an independent individual and a free-thinker. Oops.

This was good and you were proud of them for learning from you and showing you how well they could do what you taught them. How well they were living up to your expectations. How independent, how confident, how active in living their life and their plan!

You’ve given them a lot of freedoms and responsibility and they have lived right up to your standards with it. You are so, ,,,, wait, ,,, whats that, ,,,,

You are so freaked out and disillusioned, by a decision they have made you are speechless. You are besides yourself, distressed, angry, hurt and a dozen other things because your child has done exactly what you have raised them to do. Thought for themselves.  Made a decision.  A decision they knew you would not like but, that they had thought through, made a conscious decision based on what they felt, thought and had learned to date.

Is it a huge mistake? Maybe. You think so. You think they are not experienced enough to make a choice like this. You think they are not being rational. You think they are being unduly influenced by some outside source.

What they are is – doing exactly what you taught them, expect from them. Which you were so proud of just yesterday when, it was something you agreed with. Suddenly, thinking outside the box, not falling to peer pressure, or accepting the traditional, the norms makes them immature, inexperienced, and gullible.

Interesting. Making mistakes, bad choices, is how experience is gained. Stepping out is how people learn what does and does not work. Trial and error. Having a mind of your own means using it for yourself. That is what you have taught.

You left out the part about thinking freely as long as it is in line with your thinking. You forgot to say not to take on the image society wants to hang on you but, lets us yoke you with our image of you.

How can you stand there and look at this child of yours and be so surprised? How can you not know them at all? You created them in your image! They paid close attention. They learned what you showed them, told them.

Oops.

A V