An empty head

There are times when even I, much to your and my surprise, have nothing to say. Oh, lots and lots to talk about, sure. But, ‘say’? Not always.

There was a time when whatever was on my mind was on my page. Just toss it all on out there for any and all to review. An emotional, philosophical, ideological and mental exhibitionist.  My keyboard was the proverbial trench coat hiding  that little thing I could just not resist flashing you a glimpse of. “Pst Pst, hey, look what I have here!”

My thoughts. My Feelings.

There is a new word in the super fat dictionary, just added in 2009. Over-Share. When one puts just a bit too much info out there in the ether. The social networking equivalent of flashing. I am trying to be a bit more discrete. I have already made it a habit to only mention celebrities, living or dead, by name. Everyone else, no names and as little info as needed to the point I am trying to make. Certainly not enough to give up an identity.

However, this does not keep some of them from being offended, concerned, riled up or just made curious to know if in fact, it was them I was referring to. What to do? I do not know yet. Just keep trying and hope those that choose to think I am writing about them (and also those that are positive I am) understand.

I have also tried to not simply ‘talk about me’ for the sake of just typing something. Two or three people will read about me. Just like not being able to take your eyes off the car crash, they want to see my most recent crash. But, to build up a readership and create a place that strangers come to read what I have written will require much more than just a diary that is branded (tainted?) with my sense of humor.

So – when there is something ‘accessible’ to a larger group, when I have ‘something to say’, I will write. That is/was my plan. And, it sucks! To build up readership I must also become consistent with my production. I almost used the word reliable but that put to much pressure on me to not only write often but to also write something good every time as well. Consistent leaves me the out of failing in quality while attempting to maintain quantity.

This post is because I have been sitting and writing only too find it all to pedestrian or self-centered. We all know I am a narcissistic egomaniac with a primary tone of sarcasm. (Makes me really hard to know, be around in the flesh.) Lacking the tools of tone, diction, expression and body language, with only words, I cannot make the mundane as interesting as I can while speaking.

So – I am working on writing, with my so-called ‘stream of consciousness’ style but to do so about something. To write something that you, those that do know me ‘might show someone else. Another way to build readership.

I promise, I will be writing more as my new schedule becomes a habit.  As my physical health improves (getting along well with my PT) my mental health may follow and drag along with it my creativity, desire and work ethic!

There was a sentence here that began with, in fact… and finished with a time-table of sorts. A schedule of when I would post new stuff. Too much pressure this early on.

The over all goal here folks is to stop using this medium only for personal therapy and start making it entertaining. To learn the craft of writing as compared to the aforementioned flashing of self. I am sure they are closely related.

As well as the aforementioned, build readership! Why you finally ask? Because I am not going to be a massage therapist for all that long.  My body will not tolerate it. I know nothing else useful. I can write as long as I can think. Looking for a new income stream and you, my friends, are my teachers!

I humbly thank you in advance.

A V