conflicting messages

Seems I have made a few people wonder how I could be A) So remarkable hostile to towards people and B) Chosen to do touch healing work.

Ya know – that is one damn good question. My immediate hostile-towards-humans reply is, “No, you moron, I do not hate all people! I just find that statement faster than trying to pin point the loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate of other peoples space, (including air space = noise) self indulgent, critically stupid in their actions and unaware of the results of those actions kind of people. THOSE are the people that when I encounter several in a short period of time, or when I am stuck with them as neighbors, as I am now, drive my level up tolerance over the edge and cause me to say, write, scream from the roof tops, I HATE FUCKING PEOPLE!”

I try to avoid that long answer for two reasons. It is usually followed by, “Which now includes you, you fucking idiot! Thank you for playing” Or, leads to some unnecessary question like, “What do you mean?” If your rose-colored-glasses-led-life have produced a life time of experiences that preclude you from understanding or being able to in any way identify with that rant, we have nothing to talk about. Not to mention, I would probably walk away since I would be provoked to stick a sharp pencil in your eye just to make sure you were a human and had feelings like a human. ( A bit of envy and jealousy make be in there as well)

I have been living on 4-5 hours of constantly interrupted sleep for months. If the rules for sleep deprivation are outlined in ‘what is vs what is not torture’, then my being a bit pissed off and sensitive may just have a physiological reason.  Ad to  that to my learning at an early age, unnecessary, intrusive noise leads to immediate, hostile and often violent reprimands, and you get me as I am now – pissed off that my fucking asshole neighbors are blatantly and knowingly offensive in their actions and activities.

Does this mean I cannot be a body worker? Hmm – lemme see.  Doctor’s die of disease everyday. Firemen die from smoke inhalation, psychiatrist commit suicide, talk therapists get divorced, ministers cheat on their wives and priests rape young boys. Athletes drop dead on the playing fields, scuba instructors drown, sky-dive instructors bounce. Now I am sure some of you with the logic bent will run through the list and point out the failed applicable Aristotelain form but I am not trying to create a perfect analogy nor do I give a rats ass if you can show in syllogism my mistake.

My point is – yes, I believe I CAN be an effective body worker, facilitate change on several levels in a body, system, do so with caring compassion , sympathy and empathy, ground myself, balance myself, project my intentions, do good – all while thinking there are some people I would like to make part of an artificial reef.

If you disagree, I suggest you read paragraph two again and get ready to take a dip.

A V