Just thinking –

It is near one week into the new year. Very little has changed for me personally since say, oh, the 20th of December. Or, at least not so much that I can write about. I am feeling more and more self employed, solo act, that I did even 10 days ago. I am fairly estranged from the others there and in fact, have not even been in the office since the 23rd. No one doing business like I am trying to do those last few days of the year.

That being said, I found my self looking and calling on other forms of employment. My ‘field’ as it is, the thing I am studying for, paying a loan to learn, investing time and brain matter to, has not been a good direction for me. Not sure all the reasons why. I do know I am looking at other things. Like, more freaking sales jobs!

Problem is, I am not a good sales person. I can have a great conversation, pass on all the information clearly, completely. Fast on my feet, not taken off guard or flustered easily. However, I just do not have that killer, bite when the neck is exposed kinda thinking. If someone says, “Not now” I believe them. They are not interested, right now. According to my department manager, “Well then you should have asked When will you be, that I should dig for it. He likes to tell me over my shoulder the things to say. Besides being really annoying, I am also amused that he does this with out any idea who I am talking to or what they are saying.

I have all this information and have been asked to ‘rep’ another product for someone. Now, after the entire month of December being a complete bust, after all month of hearing everything I should have been saying vs What I did say, I find it hard to get excited about it. I am not a good sales person. I love doing it, I enjoy the product (what I know of it), I like the feeling when I find the person, group, that need or are looking for what I am selling. I just suck at selling it.

The sales manager believes it is my approach that is not right. ‘The on line business is doing great, can’t blame it on the economy!” Hmmmmm. A place, an on line store, where people go to buy things they are looking for, place an order for it an viola, business. Compared to, people at work receiving a call from a phone pirate. Yea, I can see that it is me. The two are so similar it must be me.

The good news is the wedding business if surprisingly busy already for the year. Keep it up, who knows.  Maybe that will be all I do anymore. I need to revamp the web site. Going to take the plunge and pay to be listed on a wedding professionals site. Funny, a wedding professional. All very amusing.

So, I have been talking about a goal board for the year. A tuned up life list and two to-do lists, one for each car. I enrolled in a self paced study program that goes along with the holistic health studies. I do not think it will help my work situation but I like the topic and look forward to the knowledge.

Maybe a few more weddings will pop up and I can get some of the tools I sold to pay rent back. Start doing projects again for income too.

Who knows. The last project I did just for fun came out great. Motivating. Maybe I can find some time for some more theater too. Miss that a ton. Now that all the really hard classes are out of the way, why now eh?

My resolution this time was easy, get a notebook and carry it. All the time. Write down my impressions of things. So far so good. I have three notebooks!

AVY