Did you hear something?

As some of you regulars know, I have the great gift of being allowed to perform weddings, as the officiant, due to the amazing rules and regulations of this country. The rules that allow someone like me to become ‘ordained’ via mail and a ‘donation’ to the cause. The internet has allowed me to do this now at least three times, as in, with three separate ‘churches’. I believe there are more but I forget.

I do realize how this sounds, looks, portrays etc. etc. I take my role much more seriously than I have in the past. Both because of the nature of the event, how serious it is to those involved. Also, as I age up I find that there is a responsibly beyond just how it makes me look to be this ‘person’. To call yourself a minister is to bring judgment on all those that carry the title by your behavior. I am trying to be less a bad example than I have in the past.

All that rambling has little to nothing to do with the following except, I do know weddings are serious events, just in case it does not show.

On Saturday I was fortunate enough to be officiating for a great young couple. Small, quaint set up. Beautiful location, wild animal reserve. Small amphitheater stage with a stream running behind. Perfect day – sunny but cool with a nice breeze. Everyone happy and happy to be there. Low levels of stress and anxiety.

Now, one of the things I bring up at rehearsals, which I almost always attend, is the unfortunate dropped ring possibility. In eighteen years of this I have seen it twice. First time was a keystone cops calamity of errors. All, of course, caught on tape. Five, count ’em, five of us all drop to try and recover the missing ring. Giant dress aside, that many hands do not help.

The second time, I was the only one to lean down and pick up. Very nice. Looked fine on tape, like we had practiced or planned for it. HA! We had. Part of every rehearsal is the part where I tell everyone about the cluster and this, “If a ring is dropped, please, no one try to get it. I will find it and we will go on.”

So – its Saturday. The guests are enjoying a lovely day, a beautiful couple having a great time and, well, me too. They are loving me! (Wild narcissist moment there. It’s pre six am, so there) The moment arrives. I look to my left, “Danny, may I have the rings please?” Hand in pocket, box comes out, begins to be opened and, and, and………………….

There is the distinct sound of two metallic objects hitting the wood floor and then the dull thud of them landing on the dirt behind us. Both of us, me and the best man, take a quick glace over the rail then back at the still closes box. Brief moment of confusion.

Brief because the other two groomsmen are now giggling like little girls. I look at them. One looks away, the other looks down.  The best man, rings out and ready to hand to me is shaking his head. Not looking too amused. Ah-Ha! A joke! Quick glance down and I see two pennies, bright, new, shinny pennies in the dirt.

SWEET! Playing a joke on the officiant mid-ceremony! I LOVE IT! and I say so. I take the rings, I say thank you, I look at the penny-tossing-groomsman. Wink, smile, “Priceless” I did say it quietly but that did not seem to help. Everyone on the stage, Bride and Groom included begin to laugh.

I try my best to regain some order and go on and as I am about to start speaking I notice around eighty people all looking up from the seats with the same expression. What the heck just happened? So I tell them, “Inside joke, ask Aaron at the reception.”

Perfect. We, all of us on the stage had a great moment with it. The bride and groom where OK with it, the videopgrapher LOVED it. Aaron got a bit tired of explaining it but that’s what happens.

At the reception, there was someone taking Polaroid pictures of everyone as they entered. Handing them a pen for notes and then placing in an album. That was their guest book. I had made a point of getting the pennies and giving them back. Just the way I am.  In the album there was the photo of comic groomsman, with the two pennies next to it.

I had my photo taken and captioned with, “Did you hear something?”

I try hard to keep in mind how important these things are. However, on occasion I do forget how much fun they are. I am grateful for the position I find myself in. What a gift.

I am thinking though, is there a market for comedy / stand-up / improv weddings? Would really have to let the grand-mothers know ahead of time me thinks.

Peace, (from the happy Rev.) Ant-Knee