Well, how about that?

There I was, all reconciled and ready to stage manage Vanities for one of my favorite directors. All ready to tolerate the poop that comes with being an SM, and especially at that particular place. Then, after only one rehearsal, the thing kinda blows up.

Asked to re-cast or be replaces, the director opted not to re-cast and thus, is no longer director of that show. I, immediately upon finding out, became not the SM too. Then a funny thing happened. An email asking if i was still interested in the  gig. No. Thank you, no I am not was my reply.

The reply I got was, “Thank you for your quick reply and return of script. We will miss you.”

Holy shite – am I dying and no one told me? Miss me? Was my honesty, “I only signed on to work with that particular director” more direct than needed? I thought there was some value in direct honest answers. Maybe not.

I realize there is no tone, no inflection, nothing like body language for me to really judge that comment by. I do however judge it. I am human and have a killer ego that likes to think everything is about it, or me I should say. So, I took that as a comment with no kindness, in fact, down right nasty in tone and intent.

I could easily be the one full of shit and ego building and the comment was sincere, “Hey, gonna miss you being around the theater” Why not?

Oh, because I am a pain in the ass and not likely to be nice to anyone behaving stupidly. It seems. much to my surprise, when  you tell someone how stupid they are behaving, they think its a personal attack! Come on, I am attacking and resenting and admonishing your parents. Not you. After all, your idiocy and deep character flaws must be a combination of your genetics and upbringing. You my friend have a personality to support both, nature and nurture. Well done mom and dad. You created a good bad example!

Now, where was I? Oh yea – no more show. That is a good thing. I wanted to take some time away and see about getting to like theater again. I wanted to look at the idea of really being an actor again – actually trying it out as way to earn a living. Along with many other things I do/did/learned the first time I tried this.

Why not? I have a job that seems to offer up some potential for flexibility with time. I have little to nothing else cooking anywhere else. Why not? I don’t really know how to do too much else. In the words of the amazing Richard Pryor, “I’ll go to Hollywood and be an actor. I can’t do nothing else. I know I can act!”

Hmm – I am kinda tripping on all this as it is just what is going on in my noodle at this very moment, writing it as it is occurring in the thinker. Wow. I thought I had laid that dead horse to rest!?!?!

This requires some time to think, stretch, do something but write and think out loud. ( Type out loud? Think out type??)

Yea – I will revisit this soon as it settles back to whence it came. Like a flu or something, I’ll be alright in a day or two.

Peace, Ant-Knee