More or less –

Well, here I am, Craig’s Listing it for work and listing items for sale. Happy Monday morning. It is not all bad really. A little motivation I suppose you could call it. Ya know, that habit of living indoors and eating food I buy or grow myself. Silly things really. (Yes, the garden is growing nicely)

I have been looking and thinking and just trying to sort it all out. The loss of the work day has eliminated one of my mental health professionals. Not sure what the results of stopping Zoloft will be but, will start to find out in only five more tabs = days. It’s funny. I started a ‘detailed diary’ of my medication experience when I began taking the stuff. The first week or so was all about trying to tell if I could tell I was taking it. Then, when I could tell, was feeling more – normal for lack of better word – I lost interest in writing about it!

I was worried about loosing some edge, attitude if I got tuned down too much. I did. I did not mind so much but that was probably due to the medication! Oh what a tangled web blah blah blah.

Now, I face the situation of searching for sustaining employment, the rejection that comes with it, the frustration that comes with it, the use of gasoline that comes with it, all while experiencing the reversal of whatever it was the meds were doing for/to me. Serotonin stabilizer I think. I make enough but does not stay in the right place, or something like that. Be free serotonin, go where you will!

I am putting forth an effort to increase the wedding officiant ‘thang’. This is something I can do, am actually good at, and pays well. It does create some conflict, moral questions for me but, ya know, these are adults! I ask them once, “You know what you are getting into?” I ask drunks, alcoholics near the same thing everyday. “Hey bud, you really want to start drinking (again, more, still, this early, etc etc)?” Adults – making adult decisions. My job, my function, my part is to write something wonderful, make it what the couple want it to be, deliver it to the best of my ability, do the paper work, and deposit the check.

It’s a bummer I can’t make a living at theater. Then again, if I was a good as I thought I was, I would be! HA!

Massage! Oh yea. There is that expensive time intensive hobby I have taken up. Did you know I have a fantastic massage room here? Nice new comfy table. Nice music. Pretty scents. Two point ems machine. (Which I sell for only eighty bucks by the way – very cool for you desk jockeys ). Chi machine, swing machine, what ever you choose to call it. All the great stuff for a truly wonderful 90 + minutes. Nice. Useless but nice.

What does all this have to do wit the title of this post? Nothing it seems. I had an idea when I sat down here and it went somewhere without me on my way to kitchen for more coffee. “Sometimes my mind has a mind of its own.” – Butch Hancock

Art – if I was only an artist I could create in my ever-so-well-prepared garage, be inspired, be independent and maybe even a bit solvent, stable. If if’s where horses I’d be standing in horse shit.

Peace, Ant-Knee