Testing, 1, 2, 3….

Tests. A test of faith, testing the waters, testing my patience. Written tests and practical tests.  Thee Test of Time! Pop quiz, ready? What’s this post about?

God’s will, chance, fate, Karma, other divine intervention, self fulfilling prophecy, the universe, coincidence or just imagination. Whatever you choose to call it, have you ever found a short (or long) stretch of time in your life when there seems to be a theme? Reoccurring and usually when you least expect it? It occasionally does not become apparent until later – a few minutes, hours or even days after you have had the chance to review and process events. Can driving, burger flippin’ and showering really have anything in common? Oh yea. What each make you do, or attempt to do, at the time. During the moment.

My life, which is what I write about, you read about and why this space is here, has had a theme over the last few days. Six days I think, plus or minus a life time. It is not something I have noticed as happening but something that has been asked, presented and warned about. I suppose I should pay attention, plan ahead, prepare and most of all, I need not be surprised or shaken up.

There is a TEST on the way!

School, as expected, has a two tests on the way. Practical, public day, when I will be privileged with laying hands on a few folks in a effort to assist their bodies desire to be well, too heal. This is a pretty cool way to spend time but it is still a test. What have I retained and how can I apply it? Not to mention, someone will be watching to find out the answers to those very questions. Then, a few days later, the written test. Recipes, meridians and points. Oh boy!

Sobriety, as expected, is a test on a daily basis. In program the mantra is one day at a time. I get that. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Not drinking has not been a test for me. Working the program has. I jumped back into it and what was one of the topics of discussion? “Does your higher power make bad things happen to you? Are you tested?” That was on Friday morning and my answer was no. Life happens and I get to apply my faith or use them as moments to strengthen my faith. Well, so I thought.

Faith, church and preaching. Sunday, still stoked about being one year into sobriety and again working the steps, program with someone, I head to church. Pop quiz, ready? What was the topic of the message? Yup. “Does God, Jesus test you?” Well, it seems that yes he does. We are given opportunities to step up and live, show, share our faith and belief. Now, I have to imagine it is not to prove faith, that seems a bit to old testament, Job like to me. Then again, I could be wrong. Doing is after all proving, isn’t it? Maybe I missed the point of the message.

As if there was not enough tests of my faith these days! Trying to reconcile the energetic human creature and the bodies amazing non-verbal communication with the human created by God. Mixing East and West and making the combo work, taste right.

Here I sit a bit in conflict and wondering why I am writing this instead of studying for a test that I know exactly how to pass. What is expected and even who will be judging me on. I guess it is because that would be logical and sensible! These days, it is the nonsense and vague lines that attract my attentions. That is where the change and growth comes from. The common and clear is the soil, the uncommon and  cloudy, the manure!

Test me, Feed me.

Peace, Ant-Knee