8 months

Well, I forgot about this. 8 months today. On the calender system.  Funny, today I have to go to court against  my old sponsor. Well, not funny at all. Might I suggest never mixing your AA program and employment?

Sponsor-less, stuck in the middle of my fourth step and really thinking I need to go back to step one. Did I say middle? More like first 1/4.

Only job I have been offered since my sponsor laid me off (and then lied to the unemployment department about it, why in court today) is  bartender! HA! It is actually easy to be in the bar. Easier than meetings. At meetings I think, “Wow, I was never that bad!” In the bar it is more like, “I’m like that, that, that and holy shit, like THAT a lot when I drink!”

So, taking my clear head to court to see if the system works and truth has any place in it. I doubt it. Just one of those days. Could be worse, a hangover would make this really a long day.

Will post my experience one way or the other once I process it.

Church has taken up places the program has not. Not meeting too much but reading a lot. Need to step work with someone. One day at a time right?

Funny. “They” say you have to get sober for yourself. I did that. Still, being judged and critiqued, watched by those that I would have used as an excuse had I not known how futile it would have been. Yea, you do have to get sober for yourself. Just don’t be surprised by who is watching and how non-anonymous the program is.

Feels like a auto race for at least one of them – not waiting to see me make it, waiting to see me crash and burn. Got news for you, I know a few things about handling and set-up. I’ve over driven this thing before and know exactly how hard the wall is when you hit it.  It’s a shame you are sitting in the stands watching, waiting. So much more fun being on the team, in the pits, on the box, trying to help the goal be reached. Maybe if I had a cool team jacket and logo!

I still don’t know where I am about being an AA needing alcoholic. I do know I have a drinking problem that is best left untested. Program works. Helps millions of folks get sober. I was blessed and my prayer to not need a drink was answered. Now I just have to not want one! That has been much easier to deal with. Can only recall two times in eight months. Each met and dealt with e asily and quickly.

OK – enough on that.  Who am I to preach eh? Only 8 months after-all.

Peace,  Ant-Knee

PS – did you know there was a sports book in Vegas running a line on Don Johnson drinking while on Miami Vice? Now that’s the kinda support I’m talking about!