As the year is about to end I pondered doing one of those, year end recap things. I stopped the ponder when I realized my memory sucks out-loud and I would have to refer to this here blog to know what happened. Prior to Sept. 07 is a mystery.
I have instead decided to not leave some things undone. “Put off only those things you are willing to die having left undone”. – P. Picasso.
I am no Picasso mind you but I have to finish this up. A while back I posted on saying more on that later. My amazing actor and great friend Sherryl was nice enough to take the time to make a list, and to send that list, so I could in fact, do the more part for you. What a pal! So here goes, her list, with my more – each more will start with ** just to be clear and, because I like the way it looks this morning.
Here we go:
…. I am going to save you a bunch of time and list here all the times (at least all the times I could find) you said “more later” and then left “your people” hanging. When you can’t think of anything to write about – refer to this comment. You can thank me… later.
**Thank you.
1)“Favorite expletive goes here – more on that later”
** Inside the Actors Studio. To me, if I ever was invited there, to be interviewed, I would consider my acting career made, complete, a success. At the end of the show each actor is asked a series of ten questions. One of which is, what is your favorite curse word? Being one that swears all too often, I have given that question more thought than necessary. My answer, ‘well fuck-me-running’. I don’t know what that means, just what I say when I am amazed or exasperated.
2)“Little Turkey man! (More on that later. I really need to learn how to put pictures in here)”
** I volunteered to make a cardboard turkey for a play I as in. It as supposed to look “non convincing”. SUCCESS! After two failed balloon in the paper mache attempts I went with paper mache over foam and rolled up paper. I put the neck on the wrong end. When stood upon its wings, that looked more like little drumettes, the drum sticks, that looked more like caveman clubs, went straight across. It had/gave the appearance of a barrel chested, broad shouldered, headless dwarf. I called him, my little turkey man while painting. Need to go see if still there, get a photo.
3)“OK – I’m done. Not clear, no detail? More on that later…………… or take the damn initiative and ask.”
**uhm, I don’t know. I guess a plea for replies or questions! I forget my thoughts and vision are all in my own head. You cannot see the color or hear the voice(s). I try to tell you, show you. If its just to muddled, ask me!
4)“Small, community and black box theater. More and more details of how has and what has and what might will follow as I find the time to tell those stories.”
** wait for the book
5)“I have gone much longer not drinking in the past. Just did not do it trying to be sober or in program. Different stuff. Dry v Sober. More on that later too.”
** OK, as I write this I am just shy of 7 months. Jan 2nd to be exact. I have quit before and stayed clean and sober for 30 months. I have been clean since 1981. (I smoked pot once in 1999. I didn’t like anymore then than I did the other time I did it in 1979.) The difference between being dry and being sober is what you are (or are trying) to do with yourself. Alcohol abuse tends to stem from something. AA people refer to character defects. They love to talk about those. Being sober includes identifying those, working to change or at least minimize them. Being sober is about being honest, being of service, being ‘better’ than you were before. Well, that’s what being sober in program is. (yes other things too, this is not a class or a documentary. Wanna know, buy the book and go to meetings) My place and state of mind, my resolve and my intent, everything about all of this stuff is up in the air. Doubt, questions, challenges. Some times I’m dry, sometimes I’m sober, sometimes I don’t even have a problem, I just haven’t had a drink in six months. So it goes.
6)“A bit more soreness comes from many years of being lazy and sedentary. Poor posture, bad eating habits, sitting like a gargoyle and some sudden impact injury residue. I can and could work on some of this. More on that later.”
** Exercise, Tai Chi, Meditation, Trigger Point Therapy (Thera-cane and lacrosse balls – YUMMY!) intentional posture correction, massage, acupuncture and even chiropractic! I’ve broken a lot of bones. Had some evasive things done on important parts. I should (need might be better word) take care to do the easy things that would make me feel better, that I have been taught and even try to teach others. ‘Take my advice, I don’t need it”!. New Years resolution anyone? I have a room, just for massage but, no reason it could not be for ‘health’ mine and others. Yes, I feel a resolution coming on. Check back – sure there will be something about it here later.
“I am grumpy and pissy and generally unhappy as I write this. More a challenge from technology, things just not working. Gets me frustrated. Also from feeling like a sucker. More on that later too I am sure.”
**My computer is a piece of shit and giving me fits. I do not like technology when it is not working. Takes too long to sort out why it’s not working. Being more than a little ADD (self diagnosed by the way) I prefer to find the problem, fix and move on. And, to do so quickly. However, this a great excuse to build a new machine, triple up the hard drives and go Linux with Microsoft as back up only. Money, all about the money.
** Sucker – always my own fault. Transferring my desire and perceived need in to (or is that on to?) someones statement. exp “That just sucks. Come work at my place, make more money, get insurance and you can work from home so you can go to school too” (until you find out I am a dishonest fuck and lay you off and then dispute your unemployment eligibility). Oh wait, that was just me being stupid and trusting someone. Bad example.
How about this, she said, “Nice shirt, yes lunch would be nice”. What I heard, “You’re beautiful, I want you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you, grow old and die in your arms.” Yea, that was the example I was looking for!
So, now we wander into the new year with no questions. However, I do need to write a book and start at health program, build a computer, fix my character defects, find a job, and get a grip on being single, staying single, living single. Three full days to make a plan, nothing too it.
A happy new year to you all,
Ant-Knee
The Gori Details 
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