December 1st.

December first, a day I shall refer to as, yesterday. It was a Saturday. It was a beautiful fall day in Southern California. Brisk in the morning, sunny and nice during the day. Moderate breeze. Lovely.

It was also my 180th consecutive day of sobriety. Six months. As mentioned before, you don’t count days after 90. I should have gotten up and gone to an AA meeting. I did, instead, stay in bed. I called off all my appointments for the day and was very lazy and homebody to try an kick this cold thing in my throat.

Milestones are usually something you go to your home group, meeting and share about. Tell everyone how wonderful life is now since you stopped drinking X number of days/months/years ago. You tell all the newcomers how much the program means to you and how it has changed your life and how much they need to do it all too.

Now, I just did not feel I could do it. Besides the head ache due to sinus pressure, the nagging painful cough and general over all feeling of yuck, I just could not go say all of that to a group of people I did not know. I was in no mood to sit in the room with the guy that laid me off work two weeks ago and tell everyone how great life is now. I did not want to listen to anyone else tell me how great life is now because they do ………………

Life is the same for me really. I feel much better. I spend less money (good thing since none coming in at the moment) I am not likely to end up in a fight or trying to break one up or anything like that. I eat better because I take the time to make meals. I am learning some new things. I like me more. But, life is the same. Need to work. Have to pay bills. Good thing and bad things happen. Life is the same.

THEY say, when you don’t feel like going to meeting is when you need to go. I just needed some sleep and Fisherman’s Helper lozenges.

Only told  a few people. None of them yesterday. Kept it to myself. It is my milestone.  I have not done the program well. I have not drank either. I need to work on the part of me that I wanted to fix by stopping.  I want to say so much more here but it would not set well. Not with you or me I think.

So, six months.

So, there.

Ant-Knee